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  • Brian Keller

brian's OMG, just stop

Yesterday, I was attracted to a headline in a Baltimore periodical coincidentally named Baltimore Magazine. I guessed the magazine is about Baltimore, so I looked at their article on Baltimore's "Best Dive Bars." but first, I wondered if a dive bar is a dive bar, would it be listed in a pool that lists dive bars thus opening itself to invasion by courier bag, tattooed covered hipster doofus's looking for a place to overpay for Pabst and or a local beer (served in Baltimore) So, I read and saw a few places I"ve been, none of which you would call a dive bar. The piecer ambled on awkwardly, but I kept reading UNTIL I saw a bar's jukebox referred to as (paraphrase) CURATED. Dive bars don't have curated jukeboxes; in fact, nobody has a curated jukebox. Somebody should take the keyboard away from the writer for that. Also, she doesn't know where some bars are located. One bar (an actual dump) was identified as being in Midtown - Belvedere ( does that neighborhood exist). In reality, it is right in the middle of one of Baltimore's best-known, and not made up recently, neighborhoods, Bolton Hill. In any event, if a bar is listed anywhere in some hipster doofus city magazine, then it's not a dive bar.

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