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  • Brian Keller

Who the hell is interpreting your resume? Sure, I could be Dean of the Law School

Updated: May 25, 2022


Once jobs in our field were hard to find. Really, it was hard to find listings for ad jobs. The good news was once you found a job and applied, there was a good chance that a human being would look at your resume, and they would invest a decent amount of time reviewing the accompanying work (portfolio – hard copy, then links, etc.). If you were lucky and good you would wind up with an interview, usually with the same person who looked at your credentials, and probably the person who would manage you. It was part of that person’s job. This kind of search ended, really, not that long ago. Now, it’s easy to find a job. You can find millions.  Are they a match for you and/or your future employer?  You better get that resume in shape before you think about getting the three phone interviews with HR people who haven’t seen your work, the video chat with a creative head and perhaps the onsite interview with 8 to 10 people, who would rather be having a Liver transplant than be talking to you. Most of the time an actual person won’t vet your resume. It will be a software program (the Applicant Tracking System). The ATS takes the information from your resume.  It creates a score for you based on how closely you match the position applied for.  The higher the score, the closer you are to competing with the 15 to 20 finalists in the 2-month death march of the interview process. 

Get that Resume in shape and be like me, loved by the ATS. Here is the basic information found in my resume. The document is pretty simple. I am a writer, have a lot of broadcast experience, graduated college with a BA in English, went to graduate school for film and attended law school. I listed my positions and titles, which are all in ad agencies (one in house agency) and all on the writing side and in many places, I produced my own material. I was happy with my simple resume.  Then, I saw several stories on job search and companies such as Indeed and Zip Recruiter. Then, I got all crazy with myself and added to and changed my resume. Keywords, I added some damn keywords. Now, that's good.


Make sure to use keywords - “words or short phrases that relate to particular requirements for a job. They are the skills, abilities, credentials, and qualities.” These are what the hiring people(?) are looking for.  You should also use language, in your resume, from the job description. BEFORE Keywords – SUMMARY (it doesn’t mention anything about being a writer. OOPs no keywords, I would have never thought of that ATS.) I am a slothful, lazy, miscreant who wants a neat job with a trumped-up job title. What I lack in civility I make up for in petulance. I'm also shallow and petty. AFTER Keywords -SUMMARY I am a slothful, lazy, WRITER who wants a neat job with a trumped-up job title. What I lack in civility I make up for in petulance. I'm also shallow and petty.  If I have to I can provide things I’ve WRITTEN on ¾” tape or VHS. I WROTE the stuff and have samples of WRITING that were featured in magazines and in the FYRE Festival Program.  See, four keywords. Keywords, done.

 Again, many say that you should customize your resume and the ATS likes to see language from the job description in the resume. Here's the job description.

"We're looking for a highly-skilled, conceptual, and creative B2B & B2C copywriter to join our team. In this role, you'll work closely with both the sales and marketing teams to help craft engaging ad copy and make shareable content for email marketing, video, social feeds and other media channels everywhere."

Without them even knowing it I become the top candidate by flawlessly and subtly integrating their description into my resume.  I'm a highly skilled, conceptual, and creative B2B & B2C copywriter and in my role, I work closely with both the sales and marketing teams to help craft engaging ad copy and make shareable, content for email marketing, video, social feeds and other media channels everywhere.

Show the industry you're a player in the business space. I’ll nail a job after I put in some industry “buzzwords” and “jargon” (as recommended). Buzzwords and Jargon are good in a resume. It shows that what you lack in talent you make up with the foresight to be banal and fit in. Why be to the point and simple when you can use "bandwidth" and "robust?"  I didn't have goals before. I thought people would think my goal would be a job, but I'm naive. Take a look at my goals, complete with buzzwords and jargon. Goals are new to me.

GOALS WITH AD AGENCY JARGON (Kimono could be a buzzword and not jargon) I would like a job in a fast-paced environment where people circle back to me with answers to my questions.  I want to be in a place where everyone can open the Kimono and be a self-starter and be a ROCK Star who plays well with others. I am all about the work.

Next. I highlighted my special and unique skills with one short burst, as advised.  SKILLS AND ACHIEVEMENTS  (SKILL) I have turned a lack of ability into strength.  (ACHIEVEMENT) Using my skills I have managed to put together a subsistence living. NOTE: I didn't use skill or achievement in the real resume. I put that in so you could see how seamlessly I combined the two. thoughts. Let me be an example to you and a shining beacon for your job search.  I think that should do it for resume polish. If you don’t have personality flaws you should agree with me. After getting my resume in shape I went job hunting.  I used two outlets, (Zip Recruiter & Indeed) primarily, as I saw a few commercials and decided I need to ride those trains.

Zip Recruiter (for and employer) $249- $1,569.00 per month. Indeed, is Pay per Click Candidates - Free

Use them. That’s it. You will get top employees FAST. Employees use them you will be an employee FAST

The Zip Recruiter commercial below hit my OMG it’s so true and like it’s so funny side. It features lots of resumes and a brave woman. (For the employer).  Stop giving us those bad resumes, you bastards.     Zip Link Transcription:  "Some job boards give you tons of wrong resumes. That’s not smart. Zip Recruiter finds people with the right skills, education, and experience for your job and actively invites them to apply so you get qualified candidates fast."

The commercial below hit my emotional, I like ponies’ side. It features lots of gorgeous, emotional people, totally awesome people, unafraid people. (Candidates’ side) Sod off you Robots, Bollocks to the lot of you. Indeed Link_ Transcription: (I added two descriptions) “Work is changing We’re told the robots are coming for our jobs, that the algorithms will replace us but we are resilient born to adapt (Shot of man with prosthesis running), wired to learn (shot of a little girl on a tablet).   Sure, change is coming but we will find opportunity. Search for greatness. Search Indeed." I took my revamped resume and signed up for email alerts about potential jobs and searched. It worked so well that I posted some job suggestions for "The great Brian has new job recommendations extravaganza." ZIP Recruiter   1. My Suggested Jobs - “Below are other jobs you might like, based on your resume, prior job applications and search history.” Job Title: QMAP - Full Time or Part Time Company: XXX Star Senior Living. I’m a writer. 2. I think you’ll be a good fit for this job - This is from Phil at Zip Recruiter. I love him. Work Hard / Play Hard - XXXX CONSULTING - Venetian Islands, FL “Work Hard /Play Hard We have paid training so new employees have time to learn everything!              I’m a writer This is from Phil at Zip Recruiter. I love him. Legal Proofreader– XXXX consulting - New York, NY. I’m a writer. I did go to law school. Indeed  From Brittany at Indeed. I love her. “Hi Brian, I found your resume on Indeed.com and thought you would be a great match for the Division of Legal Studies, Director (Dean) opportunity. “I’m a writer. I went to law school Radio Engineer or Broadcast TV Engineer for local stations - Jacksonville, FL. I’m a writer. I don’t know how to use a screwdriver but can write about people who use screwdrivers.  From Brittany at Indeed. I love her. “Hi Brian, I found your resume on Indeed.com and thought you would be a great match for the Mathematics Managing Editor (Remote)” I’m a writer - I got out of my first year of college and into the second by cheating on an Intro to math final Brittany: Hi Brian, I found your resume on Indeed.com and thought you would be a great match for the Production Manager / Expert Photoshop portrait retoucher opportunity. I’m a writer.  Indeed vs. Zip Recruiter?   I don't know how things work in other businesses concerning job search. I know that the ATS is not a favorite of mine. I know that in advertising a lot of people do not get their work (the most essential element) seen due to the nature of HR and the Automated Tracking System. The speed and reach offered by companies like Zip Recruiter and Indeed are often mitigated by not getting correct matches.

Anyway, if you don't see any more articles from me, it's because I'm busy as the Dean of a law school. I also took a job as a freelance Thoracic Surgeon. 

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